Protecting friends and family around pornography involves several different tasks. Adults may want privacy on shared devices, a parent may want to reduce a child’s exposure, or someone may want to support a friend whose viewing is causing problems. Start by deciding which situation you are dealing with, who needs support, and what practical change is within your control.
This guide is written for adults, parents, and carers. It brings together a household checklist, examples of supportive conversations, and external resources for children’s online safety. If your own viewing feels difficult to control, you can also use the guide to seeking professional help.
Set clear boundaries for shared devices
Make a list of the devices people share. Include laptops, tablets, televisions, games consoles, browsers signed into a family account, and devices used by visitors. Consider who can access each device, whether accounts are shared, and whether adult material or notifications could appear unexpectedly.
Use separate profiles where the device supports them and check which account is signed in before handing it over. Close adult tabs and avoid leaving downloads, bookmarks, or saved account details in a shared profile. For advice specifically about reducing children’s exposure, the NSPCC explains parental controls across home broadband, phone networks, apps, and devices. Read the NSPCC parental-controls guide.
An original household plan might assign a named adult to check each device and record the review date. Keep the plan simple enough to revisit when a device is replaced, an account changes, or a child starts using a new service. Agree what adults will do before allowing someone else to use their screen.
Review settings using the manufacturer’s current instructions
Settings change between operating-system versions. Use the current support page for the device you own and verify the account or profile the setting applies to. The following resources describe the controls available in three widely used systems.
- Apple devices. Screen Time and family controls include content and privacy settings for a child’s iPhone or iPad. Check the options that apply to your device version and family setup. Open Apple’s parental-controls instructions.
- Microsoft accounts and Edge. Microsoft Family Safety provides website and search filtering with specific account and browser requirements. Read those requirements when setting it up. Open Microsoft’s web-filtering instructions.
- Google accounts and Chrome. Family Link provides controls for a supervised child’s browsing. Its support page explains where website settings apply. Open Google’s family browsing guide.
After making a change, use the relevant child or shared profile to review its settings and ordinary browsing experience. Check that school, accessibility, and other everyday services remain available. Keep administrator credentials with the adult responsible for the setup and record how the household will handle requests to access a blocked service.
Write a practical household agreement
A short agreement can make expectations easier to discuss. You can include where shared devices are used, when they are put away, how new apps are approved, and what someone should do if upsetting material appears. Keep the language suitable for the people involved and review it as their needs change.
The eSafety Commissioner provides parent guidance and a family technology agreement resource. Its guidance treats controls as part of a broader conversation about safe use and explains the importance of understanding how a tool works. Explore eSafety’s parental-controls guidance.
Here is a household worksheet you can adapt.
- Which devices and accounts are shared, and who manages each one?
- What should someone do if unwanted content appears?
- Who can a child or visitor ask for help without being blamed?
- How will adults keep their own access separate from children’s use?
- When will you review the agreement and any restrictions?
For adult friends or partners, agree directly what support or information sharing each person wants. For example, one adult might ask another to help configure a chosen blocking tool or to check in about a personal goal. State the scope of that agreement clearly and review it together.
Respond calmly when a child sees pornography
If a child tells you they saw sexual material online, focus first on listening and helping them feel able to talk. Ask enough to understand what happened and whether someone sent it to them or pressured them. Seek specialist guidance if you are concerned about unwanted contact, grooming, or another safety issue.
The eSafety Commissioner has specific advice for parents on responding when a child discovers pornography, including conversations and practical next steps. Use that adult-facing guidance to plan a response appropriate to the child’s age and circumstances. Read eSafety’s parent response guide.
An original opening you could adapt is, “Thank you for telling me. Tell me what happened, and we will work out what to do next.” Give the conversation time and return to it if the child has more questions. Make a private note of the practical follow-up you need, such as reviewing a setting, contacting the school’s safeguarding lead, or asking a qualified professional for advice.
If you suspect a child is in immediate danger, contact local emergency services or the appropriate child-protection service. Specialist organisations provide guidance for adults who are unsure how to respond to a concern.
Support an adult who is struggling
Choose a private time and explain the specific concern you have noticed. You might have observed missed commitments, lost sleep, or a request for help that the person made themselves. Ask what kind of support they want before offering a plan.
You could say, “You mentioned that staying online is affecting your sleep. Would it help if we looked for an appointment together, or would you prefer to talk first?” If you are a partner, you can also explain the effect on you and the boundaries you need. Keep a distinction between the practical help you can offer and the care a qualified professional can provide.
Make any agreed help concrete. You might sit with someone while they write an enquiry, help them compare appointment times, or arrange a check-in after they contact a service. Give them room to choose a provider and discuss personal details privately. The getting-help guide includes questions for a first appointment.
Protect privacy and consent
Think about what information a support arrangement genuinely requires. Before using an accountability product, review what it records, where that information is stored, and who can access it. Agree with the adult concerned how reports will be used and when the arrangement will be reviewed.
If intimate images have been shared without consent, use an appropriate reporting service and the originating platform’s reporting tools. eSafety provides information about image-based abuse and reporting options, including its Australian service. Read eSafety’s image-based-abuse guidance.
For a listing on this site, the content-removal page explains how to submit a request. Include the listing address and the information needed to explain the issue. If the situation involves another person’s privacy, avoid circulating the material while you seek help.
Make a follow-up plan that someone owns
Choose a small number of actions rather than trying to solve every issue at once. For a device concern, record the profile, setting, and review date. For an adult seeking help, record the agreed practical support and next conversation. For a child-safety concern, record which specialist service or safeguarding contact you will approach.
Keep useful external resources somewhere you can find them without reopening adult browsing pages. The support directory lists professional, family, and public-service options. If you are also worried about your own viewing, the healthy-habits guide offers a separate personal planning exercise.